Hola! It’s Jo again, sorry for the disappointment again but due to scheduling conflicts, I will be stepping in for your regularly scheduled blogger. Haha, just means that Bo is too busy, so she made me write this for her. Anyway, last week, we spontaneously decided to go food hunting in Malacca, and planned to go on Saturday afternoon, after I came back from work.

OK, let’s get this out of the way first. Worst decision ever. Contrary to whatever you might be thinking, DON’T go to Malacca on a Saturday afternoon. I’ll explain as I go on. So I came up with a plan to basically eat our way in to town, with the first stop at Klebang Original Coconut Shake for, coconut shakes, obviously. It’s probably the furthest away from town and would be perfect after a long-ish drive under the ridiculously hot Malaysian afternoon sun. There was a huge line but it moves pretty quick.

Here’s Bo giving me a very suggestive look. What’s going through her mind? Your guess is as good as mine.

Finally it was our turn and we were quite lost as there is no menu so Bo just held up 2 fingers and said “dua”. Didn’t want to be holding the people up at the back anyway as they were probably as fucking hot and edgy as we were. See those vanilla icecream tubs? I cant imagine how many they sell in a single day. $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$

 Basically you get coconut water and flesh blended with ice and vanilla ice cream. Even for someone as unenthusiastic for coconut as Bo, she said it was really awesome, and it was!

Then we headed up the road in search of Baba Low’s for some nyonya laksa but we couldn’t find the place, so I thought, OK lah, since we weren’t hungry anyways, lets go over to Baba Charlie’s for nyonya kuih. This time, jackpot, found the place, but guess what, WTF they were closed. Only opens in the mornings, and I thought, fine, reasonable as kuih are more like breakfast items anyway. Then decided, OK lah, let’s go find the super famous putu piring along Jalan Tengkera. WTF, not open yet, what is wrong Malacca??? How??? Why cannot open all day? It’s a Saturday, and you target tourists right? Connect the darn dots please, don’t need to thank me for the business advice ok?

So, how now brown cow? Decided to hunt down the famous popiah outside Madam King’s department store. We literally walked pass this inconspicuous looking stall and thought, WTF, closed again? Turned around and saw this. I guess they only sell to people in the know?

Anyway we ordered a “big” one, hence the giant roll of popiah.

Honest to god, no joke, probably the best popiah I’ve ever tried in my 26 years of existence but doesn’t do my cholesterol level any favors either. Along with the usual popiah ingredients, this one has loads of crunchy, fried pork lard in it!

Then we continued our hunt for the elusive putu piring stall for a pre-pre-dinner snack, lol. If you have trouble looking for it, it’s located next to a TOTO 4D stall on Jalan Tengkera.

 Had to wait a while for our little treats to be steamed up. This girl kept chanting putu piring all the way from KL after watching Ah Xian’s program. She was also so desperate that she Googled the place and called them. That’s how we found out that they open at 6pm…

It’s steamed rice with ‘gula melaka’ topped with shaved dried coconut and it’s steamed with pandan water. I can’t really describe how it tastes like, savory and sweet, and well, OK lah. Maybe I’m just not that into rice.

I was pretty damn excited for our next stop, Xiang Ji Pork Satay! Got there, parked the car, walked over, and SORRY ALREADY FINISH. OK lah, this was the last straw! Malacca, you’ve already forced me to say OK lah 3 or 4 times, I’m too lazy to count, but at this point I was so pissed. Why don’t you open all day? You have a damn shop lot to operate in, why waste rental??? And your located next to Jonker Walk!

So what to do? Since we were already at Jonker Walk, might as well take a stroll around. Conclusions? OK lah, just like our regular ‘pasar malam’ in KL.

At this point you could have deduced that I was pretty damn disappointed with my overall experience so far, but I was sure our final stop would be able to cheer me up. I’ve been wanting to try ‘satay celup’ since forever, and I finally get a chance to try!

Basically its like steamboat/hotpot, but instead of dipping ingredients into plain/spicy soup, you cook it in spicy peanut sauce!

OK, here comes the icky part. Bo doesn’t dare to eat this cause the base for the sauce has been used since the first day. Oh yea, it means that it’s been brewing along, cooking everyone’s meatballs for the past 40 years. Well, Bo always tells that boiling water kills bacteria so I thought fuck it, just eat. No regrets, it was awesome. Please consume at your own risk.

Well? Have I managed to convince you that going to Malacca on a Saturday afternoon is the worst decision you could make??? Damn, I’m now craving for that popiah… And we only have time to drive down to Malacca on Saturday afternoons… How now brown cow?

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